I failed.

The person I was and part of the person I am has failed. On multiple levels to multiple people I have failed. I failed my teachers by not wanting to learn. I failed my mother by not wanting to listen. I failed my daughter by not putting her first. I failed my wife by my unwillingness to change. But most of all I failed myself.

For many years, for many reasons, I wanted to be a better person. A better person for my friends, my family, the world, but most of all for myself. For the past 15 years I have failed in making any substantially good changes to myself. I have more bad habits than good. I do more things that won't help then will.

Why am I like this? I can't say...but to those concerned and especially to myself, I will do better. I choose to become better. I choose to show how much I love living but helping myself and others love living too.

I have a serious dislike of overstated statements, but I haven't any other way to say it. It is easier said then done...but it's also how we say it and to whom we say it, that will make a difference. I'm fairly confident I am the only person reading these logs right now,so I'm saying this to myself; for it is I who needs to hear this the most.

My will to live and become better for myself is finally being put into action...won't you come join me?