I failed.

The person I was and part of the person I am has failed. On multiple levels to multiple people I have failed. I failed my teachers by not wanting to learn. I failed my mother by not wanting to listen. I failed my daughter by not putting her first. I failed my wife by my unwillingness to change. But most of all I failed myself.

For many years, for many reasons, I wanted to be a better person. A better person for my friends, my family, the world, but most of all for myself. For the past 15 years I have failed in making any substantially good changes to myself. I have more bad habits than good. I do more things that won't help then will.

Why am I like this? I can't say...but to those concerned and especially to myself, I will do better. I choose to become better. I choose to show how much I love living but helping myself and others love living too.

I have a serious dislike of overstated statements, but I haven't any other way to say it. It is easier said then done...but it's also how we say it and to whom we say it, that will make a difference. I'm fairly confident I am the only person reading these logs right now,so I'm saying this to myself; for it is I who needs to hear this the most.

My will to live and become better for myself is finally being put into action...won't you come join me?

What?!

What words are the best to use for an opening? What is most appealing that will keep the readers reading? These and dozens of other questions I have to examine as I am trying to write more than just blog posts.

I've found my thoughts aren't so random since I've been reading everything in sight.
Maybe it's the fact my brain is now working overtime to commit all these things to memory.Maybe it's true that idle hands are evil hands,for without having time to do nothing,I've found doing something helps clear my mind.

Really,I'm writing about nothing,but with purpose to make the proceeding writings about something.I doubt a multitude of people,if any, will ever read this,but it helps to commit it to more than just the mind.

We modern day writers truly have the best and worst tools at our disposable.
To use and old and overused metaphor:Computers are the modern day double edge swords for writers.

We can reach the entire world seconds after we commit our thoughts to virtual paper,but so is everyone else.I fear many a good thought and prescription have been lost with the over abundance of articles,posts,and blogs.

So without further indulging myself in constructive nothingness,I bid myself adieu.